I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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