drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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