Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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