you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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