you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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