I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
