How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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