I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
