just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
