You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
