Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
