How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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