covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You've changed since you got that strap on
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
