I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
