Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
