watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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