At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
this is an emotional support booty call
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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