I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
