Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
