i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
