if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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