What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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