There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Someone shit on the floor
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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