dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
