I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize