You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
