I will die if light touches me.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
