I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
