How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
