just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
