I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I skipped work to stalk him.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
