normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
