Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
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