I smell stomach acid.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
