Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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