Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
