Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
