In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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