Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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