It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
