Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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