careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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