There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
