we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I can't turn off my feet"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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