Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
