Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
