will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
