Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
