so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
