I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
