just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
