no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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