the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize