please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
