tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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