mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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