I am in a vortex of obligation.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
