I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
It's official drugs can't kill me
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
