Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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